


eyes always seeking

by literallynoonecares



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Inappropriate Use of the Force, Sensory Deprivation, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, smutember
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 06:15:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26468542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literallynoonecares/pseuds/literallynoonecares
Summary: It grew into more and soon they were always sleeping next to each other, and always kissed each other good night. Sometimes she’d see him, clear as day and they’d be so close and wrapped in each others’ embrace. Others, she couldn’t see him. She could just sense his body around hers, like they were separated on different planes of the world but in the same place -- just something holding them back from each other.She didn’t mind, though. Even just sensing and feeling his body around hers made her feel comforted and as much as she hated to admit it, contributed to the heat building in her abdomen and how wet she’d become when thinking about Kylo.All of the traitorous, untenable thoughts she harbors for him come alive at night. It’s as if the darkness she felt on Ahch-To bubbles up to the surface and she likes it. She craves more and Kylo is more than willing to give into her lustful thoughts.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 19
Kudos: 55
Collections: Reylo Smutember 2020





	eyes always seeking

**Author's Note:**

> for reylo smutember: "you can touch, but you can't look"
> 
> enjoy!

In Rey’s defense, the first few months after Crait she did make a conscious effort to shut Kylo out. It was the logical, safe choice. Even though there was a dark part inside her, buried deep within that wanted to join him -- to take his hand and fix the galaxy next to him, she knew she couldn’t give in to that baseless part of her.

It became harder and harder to keep her shields up so that Kylo couldn’t pierce through as she trained endlessly. She had so much to do and the Resistance relied on her so much it became overwhelming. She was exhausted and by the time she tried to sleep, there was no strength left to keep those walls up. 

That’s how it started, anyway. She wouldn’t admit to herself that it was different now -- even though it _clearly_ was. 

At first, when Kylo appeared to her they spoke in curt, short sentences. Enemies who couldn’t move past the hurt feelings of rejection. Pain of everything lost hanging in the balance. They softened to each other, though -- on nights when Rey cried because the mantle that has been pressed upon her is too heavy, on nights when Kylo realizes Snoke had lied and manipulated him for so long and so deeply and that he could never get his father back. 

It was a reckoning of feelings and tumult they both needed -- and then they moved on. They both questioned why the bond didn’t die with Snoke, but they were both grateful for the connection at the same time. No one else understood them like each other. Rey was certain no one else cared for her quite like Kylo did, and it made her utterly confused. 

He wouldn’t defect to the Resistance no matter how much she tried to convince him (and once, after a particularly heated argument, he blocked her for weeks before crawling back, craving her forgiveness). She wouldn’t join him, even though the title of _Empress_ was burned in the back of her head. She knew she couldn’t compromise and hurt the Resistance, the first people to become her family. 

They made a deal early on to not tell anyone about their bond -- it was their own sanctuary. Safe, sacred, and no one could take that away from them. They wouldn’t tell each other anything that could be used against each other, and if the bond activated at an inopportune time, they’d try to shut it off or sit quietly, trying not to disturb the other.

It started off innocent enough, when they began to test the limits of the bond itself. Poe, Finn, and Rose had returned from a recon mission where they made contact with a First Order spy. It felt like things were on the upswing for the Resistance and Rey had grown to appreciate Ajan Kloss for all it was. She trained and felt good, so maybe that’s why she felt bold enough to kiss Kylo on the cheek before she fell asleep. 

It grew into more and soon they were always sleeping next to each other, and always kissed each other good night. Sometimes she’d see him, clear as day and they’d be so close and wrapped in each others’ embrace. Others, she couldn’t see him. She could just _sense_ his body around hers, like they were separated on different planes of the world but in the same place -- just something holding them back from each other. 

She didn’t mind, though. Even just sensing and feeling his body around hers made her feel comforted and as much as she hated to admit it, contributed to the heat building in her abdomen and how wet she’d become when thinking about Kylo. 

All of the traitorous, untenable thoughts she harbors for him come alive at night. It’s as if the darkness she felt on Ahch-To bubbles up to the surface and she _likes_ it. She craves more and Kylo is more than willing to give into her lustful thoughts. 

“That’s what the Jedi always got wrong,” he whispers against her ear one night, “desire and passion are not always bad things.” 

She’s inclined to agree. 

It’s late at night, and Rey’s desire to see Kylo is at an all time high. She’s had a long day, with a difficult training session and she needs to burn off steam and anger. She needs to feel alive for once, and he’s the only way she knows how. She prods at the bond, too eager and too desperate. She should feel embarrassed, but she doesn’t. She knows he understands her underlying feelings. 

He appears later, whispering apologies in her ear, holding her close. 

“I was with the Knights earlier,” he says. 

She turns to face him and realizes he’s not _actually_ present, just a phantom touch that somehow feels more real than anything she could touch in her quarters. 

“Why does it do this?” She sighs, frustration abounding. 

“I don’t pretend to understand the complexities of the Force, especially not our Force bond, Rey,” he replies, brushing the hair away from her neck as he lays gentle kisses on her neck and collarbone. 

“I just want to _see_ you,” she groans as she leans her back further toward him, her butt pushing against his groin. 

“Someone is eager tonight,” he jokingly chides as one hand wraps around her and pinches the top of her thigh. 

She turns and faces him -- except she still can’t _see_ him and it drives her crazy -- but she can feel his every move and when she reaches her hand up, she can trace his face and even feels the indent of the scar on his face. 

“You don’t have to see me to feel me,” he says, a deep dark voice that makes her heart flutter. 

He kisses her deeply and passionately, hands in her hair and pulling slightly. She cants her hips toward him even more and he chuckles softly against her lips. 

“This makes me feel ridiculous,” she says. He says nothing but kisses her again, her lips parting for his tongue to explore her mouth.

“Why won’t the Force let me see you?” She asks as she breaks the kiss.

“Relax, Rey. It doesn’t matter,” he pushes her down on the bed, spreading her legs open and placing himself between her thighs. She looks down and sees her legs seemingly move of their own accord, but there’s no denying the _touch_ he grants her is real. 

They haven’t done this before when he isn’t physically _there_ and there’s something so absurd and debauched about it all that turns Rey on even more, though she wouldn’t admit it out loud. 

He can tell, of course. He always can. They had no secrets from each other. 

She can only feel it through the Force -- the way he buries his head between her thighs and somehow without the sight of him, it amplifies every feeling she has. She tilts her hips upward, leaning into his tongue against her clit, desperate for more friction and movement to send her over the edge. 

He _tsks_ and places a hand on her abdomen, steadying her. 

“Don’t move, cyar’ika,” he commands in a level voice that rings through her ears. 

She moans as he slips a finger inside her and she mutters something. It’s incoherent, but he can feel her lust and need to be satiated in the bond and continues to move his tongue over her clit, teasing her. 

She wishes she could see him -- she’s certain he’s practically _smirking_ against her, a proud feeling knowing how he makes her come undone -- but the heightened sense of his touch would have to do for now. 

He adds another finger and picks up his pace and she’s unable to hold out any longer. She’s pushed over the edge, and he coaxes an intense orgasm out of her, not allowing her respite until after the aftershocks have settled and every nerve in her body feels like a live wire. 

She scrambles for his head, running her hands through his hair. It’s a strange feeling, not being able to see him but feel him all the same. He lays a trail of kisses up her body and kisses her on the lips. She tastes herself and it reminds her that this is real, he’s here and not here all at the same time, and the Force granted them this small respite from the world but it would always be on the Force’s terms. They couldn’t control _how_ they felt and saw each other. It was almost enough to drive her mad.

“I feel it too, cyar’ika. Or did you forget I can’t see you either?” 

She hadn’t considered this -- and somehow it lit a fire within her -- it made this act more _sinful_ and uncouth and she wanted more. 

“I want to feel you inside of me,” she says and Kylo can feel the blaze behind her eyes. 

Kylo kisses her, more passionately than ever before. 

The Jedi were wrong, she thinks. Passion isn’t a bad thing. She just wishes the Force would let her _see_ Kylo the next time. She craves seeing the passion and almost combustible energy on his face. But for now, she was content with just _feeling_ all of him. 

He spreads her legs once more and she feels his cock fill her. She gasps, the feeling unexpected but wanted all at once. He begins to thrust slowly, and she begs for more. He bottoms out and hits the walls of her and she keeps herself from crying out too loudly, keenly aware of the fact that her quarters are too close to the rest of the Resistance. If someone had walked in and saw her moaning and crying out but all alone -- she couldn’t bare the embarrassment. 

He quickens the pace and grasps for her chest and neck, his hands moving over her restlessly. He moves one hand to her clit and begins to stimulate her again. 

“Come on my cock, Rey,” he requests and she obliges. It doesn’t take her long, with the combination of his thumb rubbing her clit and his cock bottoming out with every thrust. 

He feels her tense around him and words of encouragement float through the bond. 

“That’s it,” he says, “come for me.”

She does and he’s relentless with the way he works her into orgasm, not letting up until she’s getting so overstimulated she begs him for relief. She feels him tense and gods does she wish she could see him as he releases inside her. She senses his come dripping out of her thighs and she can’t believe just how much they can feel and do through the Force.

He withdraws from her and she whines at the loss -- and she can’t even see where he goes, which makes her more frustrated. She senses him again, by her side and her body relaxes into her mattress more. 

“Maybe tomorrow I’ll get to see the look on your face when I make you come, cyar’ika. I know we’d both like that,” he says as he kisses her forehead. 

_It’s uncanny_ , she thinks, _how he can sense every part of me even without looking at me_. 

How uncomfortable yet intriguing to be so completely known. 

Kylo kisses her goodnight and she feels his Force signature dissipate, and she sighs deeply before falling into a listless slumber.

🌟🌟🌟

Rey tries to hide her disappointment for the next few weeks when the Force doesn’t connect them when they’re alone. She misses his touch, his kisses, and the way she feels so much more at peace when she sleeps next to him. 

When the bond springs to life, Rey’s laying down in bed unable to fall asleep. Kylo’s at the edge of her bed and she jolts up. 

“Were you asleep?” He asks, and she can tell he kind of regrets the question once he says it out loud. 

“I couldn’t sleep. Haven’t been able to sleep well, really. I...” She begins to say something, but she trails off. She looks past him, unable to make eye contact. 

“I understand,” he replies. 

She moves over on her bed, making room for him to join her. 

“What would the Resistance say if they knew the only way their Jedi was able to sleep is in the arms of the Supreme Leader?” He taunts. 

“What would the First Order say about you?” She fires back. 

“Touché,” he replies, crawling next to her and planting a kiss on her cheek. 

“Why are we doing this? Why is the Force doing this?” She asks, but she doesn’t expect a response. 

“I’ve learned sometimes it’s easier not to question the Force’s will,” he says. 

There’s a noise outside Rey’s quarters and she stops, eyes and ears at attention. 

“Is someone coming?” He asks. 

“I don’t think so. I think it was just rain,” she replies, “I’m still not used to it.”

“Well, at least no one is coming so I can do this,” he says as he cups her face and kisses her intently. 

She melts into his touch, like a malleable clay in his hands. 

“I’ve missed kissing you,” she says against his lips. 

“I have too,” he confesses. 

It’s so odd how simple their arrangement is -- with how much power the two hold -- they could destroy the entire galaxy together, but instead it’s as if they’re content just destroying themselves. 

Kylo’s needy, Rey can tell. He grasps at her tunic with reckless and desperate abandon, needing to be as close to her as possible. He throws off his own shirt quickly and begins to peel off her leggings. 

He kisses his way down her body and pauses at her inner thighs as he pries her legs open. 

Rey doesn’t know _exactly_ why, but something about this feels different from the last time. His kisses weren’t as intense, she didn’t feel as pushed over the edge. It makes her frustrated with herself, because nothing has really changed and she _knows_ she wants to be with Kylo here and now. 

She curses the bond and the Force, because he can feel her trepidation and withdraws from her thighs instantly. 

“What’s the matter, cyar’ika?” He asks more softly and sweetly than she’d ever heard him before. 

“I don’t really know how to describe it,” she admits. It’s a non-answer, but it’s truthful. She struggles to find the words to describe the _lack_ of something in his touch. 

“Open your mind,” he requests gently. 

She nods and lays her mind bare, taking his hand in hers and lacing their fingers together. 

He searches her mind and doesn’t break eye contact, and she laments briefly how she has let this man who’s her enemy into her life and heart so fully.

Kylo’s eyes light up and a dark look washes over his face -- mysterious and mischievous. It puts Rey on edge in a way she doesn’t dislike completely. It almost excites her, the unknown and the ways he could ruin her. 

“You liked it,” he states. 

“What?” She asks, dumbfounded. 

“You liked it,” he says again. 

“What are you talking about?”

He chuckles and squeezes her hand lightly. 

“The last time the bond connected us, when we had sex and couldn’t see each other. You liked it,” he clarifies. 

“Well, of course I did but I wanted to _see_ you,” she says adamantly. 

“But you liked how it heightened your feelings. You liked not knowing where I was going to touch you or what was coming next,” he says. 

_He’s not wrong_ , she thinks to herself. She did like how different it was. How she felt everything tenfold.

“I have an idea,” he says and jumps out of bed. 

“Kylo, what--“ 

“--just relax, okay? Do you trust me?” He asks.

Rey couldn’t believe she was saying this. She couldn’t believe she was _feeling_ this. But she knew deep down Kylo could never hurt her. Would never hurt her. He’d set fire to the entirety of the Resistance the galaxy if he knew he’d have her by his side. 

“I do,” she says unwaveringly.

“I want to try something,” he replies and takes out a long piece of black cloth. 

“From some old robes,” he says, at her visible confusion. 

“What are you going to do--“

“ _Oh_ \--“ she exclaims as he pulls the cloth around her head and fastens it securely so everything turns pitch black. 

“Is this okay?” He asks and she can tell he’s asking permission to continue onward. 

“Yes,” she breathes out, senses adjusting to the momentary loss of her eyesight. 

“Fuck me, Kylo,” she requests. 

She can just _tell_ that Kylo has that incessant grin on his face that she often wants to slap off of him, even if she can’t really see it. 

The next thing she knows, her thighs are being spread open and she feels both his tongue on her clit and his fingers enter her. He’s not gentle, and his movements are unceasing. Rey’s writhing around so much she doesn’t complain when he tells her to stop and when he uses the Force to pin her down. She wants it. 

He knows she’s going to reach her peak quickly and it’s almost too much for her to bare. He doesn’t let her thrash around quite like she wants to and she has to be quiet because she’s still in the Resistance quarters. No matter how much in her mind they’re in their own private world, they just aren’t. 

“Ben,” she says. It’s a whisper, a plea for him to let go and give her some relief. It barely phases her to hear her call out his birth name. 

_It’s only reserved for you now,_ he thinks to himself, _our secret._

Her climax washes over her in waves, with Kylo working her over until the very end.

“Please,” she pleads. 

“What do you want, cyar’ika?” He says low and gravely. 

“I want you inside me,” she begs. She’s so quiet, but they’re so attune to each others wants and needs through the bond it’s like she’s screaming it in his mind. 

He laughs and she can feel his weight leaving the bed. She _whimpers_ and begs for him to come back. 

“I need you,” she says desperately. 

“I know,” he says, coming back to the bed and flipping her onto her stomach. 

She squeals and he reprimands her to stay quiet. 

“You can’t let the whole Resistance base know you’re being fucked by Kylo Ren,” he scolds. 

“Or is that what you want, cyar’ika? You want to give up the ruse once and for all?” He says it so snidely she doesn’t have to see his face to see the acidness in his face. 

“Just fuck me, please,” she pleads again. 

He tightens the pull on her blindfold and she gasps as he thrusts inside of her, filling her completely. 

He was right about why she felt that it was different -- not being able to see and anticipate his every move made her hungry for more. Everything is so amplified it’s like she’s a live wire, ready to explode at any moment.

She cries out when his thumb returns to her clit, and she almost comes again. She feels herself clenching around his cock and he quickens his thrusts, almost at his own peak. He takes hold of the edges of the blindfold and turns her head towards him. 

“I told you I wanted to see the look on your face when you came,” he reminds her. She swears she expires on the spot -- unable to continue forward because the sensations in her body, mind, and spirit were too much -- she was completely and totally overwhelmed.

He lets go of her head and she drops to her forearms, in such a daze from her orgasm she can barely keep her entire body from shaking. Kylo finishes inside her with a few more thrusts and unwraps the blindfold from her eyes. She knows how dazed she looks -- comfortable and happy in the bliss of their _togetherness_ and he looks satisfied and something akin to pride. 

“Did you like that, cyar’ika?” He asks as he swipes a thumb over her cheek, caressing her so softly unlike his touches from before. 

She nods and leans into his touch, pulling his body closer to hers.

“Go to sleep, Rey,” he says, “I’ll be here in the morning.”

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on [twitter!](https://www.twitter.com/literallynooc)  
> comments and kudos appreciated as always. keep an eye out for my house dadam a-z kink collection :)


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